Frequently Asked Questions

A Humanist wedding ceremony is an utterly joyful, completely personal, non-religious ceremony. It celebrates your rather monumental decision to get married, in a way that feels genuinely meaningful to you.

It can follow a traditional structure if you want. You can include any or all of the classic rite-of-passage moments: the aisle walk, readings, vows and ring exchanges. But crucially, every ceremony is written from scratch. I will lovingly craft yours so it feels like a perfect fit. Not a thing out of place. And not a word spoken that does not feel like it really reflects you.

As a Humanist celebrant, my ceremonies are rooted in values of equality, inclusion and the joy of human connection. They are non-spiritual, but they are packed with meaning, emotion and laughter.

I am going to lay out the cold hard facts here. A registrar does not work for you. They are employed by the local authority and are responsible for conducting legal marriages. You cannot choose them. They are assigned to you and often you meet them for the first time at your wedding. They conduct multiple ceremonies per day, so you get an immovable and limited time slot. And you will be expected to choose from one of a handful of ceremony templates which have been shared at literally thousands of other weddings.

A celebrant, on the other hand, is chosen by you. It is about forming a real connection so it works best when we have great chemistry. From the moment you book, I am there to guide you through the process and share ideas and advice. I want to really get to know you and understand you. My job is to create a ceremony that could only ever be yours. It is to celebrate your marriage not by going through the motions, but with words that come from the heart. I only take on one wedding per day, so if timings shift or plans change, I am not going anywhere. I am all yours.

In England and Wales, celebrant-led weddings are not currently legally binding. Most of my couples complete the legal paperwork separately at a registry office. A Statutory Marriage costs less than £60: two witnesses, ten minutes, and you are done. But with the admin taken care of, we have the time and the creative freedom to really do you justice.

The short answer is: not in England and Wales. Or at least, not yet.

Humanists UK have been petitioning, lobbying and have even taken the government to court to secure legal recognition for humanist weddings across the whole of the UK. But the fight continues.

At the moment, celebrants cannot legally register marriages in England and Wales, which means you will need to complete the legal paperwork separately at a registry office. A Statutory Marriage is the simplest legal ceremony available. It usually costs less than £60, takes around ten minutes, and requires just two witnesses.

Then, with all the paperwork out of the way, you have complete freedom to create the wedding ceremony you actually want. No restrictions on wording, no rigid scripts, no compromises about what can or cannot be included.

Anywhere. Because it is not the legal bit, there are no restrictions on your venue. It does not need to be licensed. I have done weddings in all kinds of places: manor houses, forests, castles, pubs, parks, theatres, tipis, schools, galleries, chapels, glasshouses... I could go on and on.

Lakes, islands, a wagon, a brewery, mountains, mills... she trails off.

Yes. Humanist ceremonies are for anyone. They are for everyone. They exist to celebrate love and commitment and the power of human connection in a safe, welcoming atmosphere where everyone feels included.

It really depends what you choose to include and how much you tell me about yourselves. I think my shortest ceremony so far was about 25 minutes and the longest was over an hour. But the sweet spot is probably somewhere between 30 and 45 minutes. It is long enough to really do you justice but short enough that no one is getting fidgety or wondering when they can have a drink.

Humanist ceremonies are non-religious. It means that I do not include prayer or religious text and I avoid anything that could be considered spiritual. But there is a big old caveat.

Everyone, regardless of faith, will feel welcome and included. I am all about bringing people together.

If you grew up in a religious household or religious culture was a big part of your upbringing, we can absolutely find ways to celebrate that. It is all about how it is framed.

Sometimes just making space for a moment where your guests have time for reflection or for their own private prayer can feel like a respectful compromise.

There are some classic primary school hymns that are absolute bangers. So if you are having a singalong, I would be tempted to make an exception for something like Lord of the Dance, or Sing Hosanna.

Ha! No, a Humanist wedding is not a hippy wedding. The hippy label is a common misconception, but Humanist ceremonies can be as simple, modern, formal or creative as you want them to be, from laid-back gatherings to elegant celebrations.

I do not own any tie-dye. I am pretty non woo-woo really. But I know that sometimes when I am standing up to begin a ceremony, I am potentially speaking to a room which includes people who are expecting to be out of their comfort zone because they have no idea what to expect from a Humanist wedding.

My priority is to make people feel from the very first word that they are in safe hands. It is all about setting the right tone so people know it is safe to relax. And I take real satisfaction in converting the sceptics.

Not all my couples have a wedding rehearsal. In fact, it is probably less than half. But I think there are a few situations when it is really helpful.

Like when your ceremony is happening somewhere that is not usually used for weddings, where there is not an established way of doing things. We have to be the ones to work out the logistics.

They are great if you are really nervous and you want a chance to mentally walk through it all together.

And they are essential if you are wanting any elements that need proper choreography, like an elaborate entrance or exit.

Every celebrant, whether Humanist or Independent, will tell you they are all about creating meaningful, personal ceremonies. And the good ones really are. But there are a few key differences which are worth knowing when making your choice.

Humanist Celebrants create ceremonies which uphold the values of humanism, so they are inclusive, they champion equality and celebrate human connection. But they are non-religious and non-spiritual.

Independent celebrants are not affiliated with any one belief system so they will generally be open to including prayer or spirituality. They are also not affiliated with one single training provider; there are many in the UK. Some are brilliant and offer really robust training. Others are less so.

As a Humanist Celebrant, I went through rigorous in-person training with Humanists UK. I have to complete a certain number of hours of CPD each year. And every three years I go through reaccreditation, so someone will come and observe my ceremony to confirm I am still upholding those high standards.

We have a network for peer support and idea sharing. There is an annual Celebrant Conference with further training, lectures and the obligatory quiz and disco, which is as painful as it sounds. And each month, I pay a proportion of my earnings back to Humanists UK to help fund and support their ongoing human rights work.

Well yes, in theory. On a handful of occasions I have written ceremonies that I have then handed over to the couple’s friend or family member. But honestly, I struggle to support the idea.

Ask yourself this: would you ask someone who has never taken photos to be your photographer? Would you book a florist who has never made a floral display? No?

Why then, having carefully curated all the other details of your wedding, would you hand the ceremony, the most meaningful part of the day, over to anyone other than a professional? Save your money elsewhere.

Well, without it you have just planned a really expensive party.

Your ceremony sets the emotional tone for the entire day. If you create a really meaningful but happy moment that bonds people and has them all leaving on a high, that same energy carries into everything that follows.

Absolutely. I think this question comes from a misunderstanding about what makes a wedding meaningful. If marriage is nothing more than a legal contract, then perhaps the paperwork is the most important part. But most couples do not see it that way.

A wedding is the moment you fill a space with your favourite humans and stand before them to make a public commitment. It is the moment we share words about why you have chosen each other and what marriage means to you. It is a rite of passage that carries you over a threshold of life.

So yes, it is a real wedding. The legal bit might happen elsewhere, but for most couples, this is the moment that truly feels like getting married.

Of course. Your ceremony is not a performance. It can be calm, grounded and natural. My job is to work out how to make you shine, without pushing you unwillingly into the spotlight.

It might be as simple as having you seated for more of the ceremony so you feel less on show. It might be about really focusing on your guests and what they mean to your marriage so the attention is less on you. It might be about leaning harder into laughter to diffuse nerves.

The main thing is, when you are working with a celebrant, your ceremony is not something that is done to you. It is something that is created for you. And so there are constant opportunities to evaluate what will feel comfortable.

Absolutely. Part of my skill as a writer is being able to adapt. It is learning to speak your language. So if you would not talk about yourself in soppy or overly romantic terms, I should not either. Instead, we root it in the real, in the honest. We find romance hidden in small actions. We warmly reference the little things you do which show your love rather than leaning on naff poetic generalisations that might risk giving you the ick.

And then I will weave some magic to create something that feels considered and which flows beautifully but which allows your version of love to shine.

No, which makes for a pretty shaky USP, but I think of myself as a bit of a chameleon and in a way, that is my biggest flex. I know I bring warmth. I know I am great at creating joy and giving your ceremony a real sense of occasion. But in terms of whether it is elegant, laid-back, romantic or full of laughs, that is really down to you and what you ask for.

I think the couples who choose me are usually emotionally intelligent, quite self-aware, but they are not necessarily really serious. I think I attract the ones who want a ceremony that is equal parts warmth, laughter and depth.